Over the previous week in golf, we’ve had tales of a failed coup, again alley dealings with personal fairness corporations, an all-consuming energy dealer, an uncomfortable media look, and merger negotiations on par with something that occurred between Waystar Royco and GoJo. All that’s left for HBO to do is see if Jesse Armstrong needs to sift by a unique business’s baggage.

On the head of the buffoonery is Patrick Cantlay — until you consider what Jordan Speith has to say — as a result of, apparently, the previous has tried to hijack the negotiations, and is failing at a charge that might ship Kendall Roy on a three-month bender. Cantlay is within the place to be so influential as a result of the six gamers on the PGA Tour’s coverage board have the ultimate say on a deal agreed with the Saudi Public Funding Fund or some other traders. (Tiger Woods and Speith are on the board, and is likely to be a part of the cabal, too, however Speith refutes all of this.)

Cantlay was reportedly courting personal fairness corporations to assist acquire leverage within the negotiations, the Saudis caught wind due to course they did, and determined to lure just a few extra bargaining chips to their facet. Thus the Jon Rahm signing for half a billion, with rumors of Tony Finau and others in talks.

Golf followers’ final notable run-in with Cantlay was on the Ryder Cup this yr when he began a bunch of drama over hats and allegedly cash. Lest we overlook, it’s what led to Rory McIlroy making an attempt to combat Cantlay’s caddie within the car parking zone in probably the most innocent approach attainable.

It’s additionally what prompted this implausible headline by the Mirror: “Ryder Cup villain ‘calling the pictures’ in PGA Tour after Rory McIlroy resignation”. McIlroy’s resignation from the aforementioned board additionally had one thing to do with Cantlay as the 2 admittedly don’t see eye to eye.

One of many hangups within the talks is the pool of cash put aside for PGA Tour golfers who had affords from LIV however remained loyal. That quantity has been within the vary of $1 billion, however seeing as Rahm simply netted half of that, who is aware of what it’s now, or what number of guys are keen to stay loyal and be ignored within the chilly wilderness of immense wealth.

It’s clearly past irritating/hysterical to look at gamers attempt to cobble collectively last-ditch efforts to retain as a lot management of the game as attainable whereas concurrently bitching about how you can cut up up the money on the finish of the blood-soaked rainbow. If Succession taught us something it’s that the richest particular person within the room often wins.

The PIF prevailed when Jay Monahan and the PGA Tour caved, if not in the mean time when Phil Mickelson determined he wanted a extra profitable income stream to gasoline his playing habit. Whereas I’m positive Western golf followers need the PGA Tour to be out entrance as a lot as attainable, and by no means discuss concerning the “scary motherf*ckers” funding the game, that’s not what the Saudis paid for.

And after Cantlay’s obvious failed hail mary, the PIF is finished being affordable. With a December 31 deadline looming, we’ll see if the deal will get achieved within the season finale, or if Monahan, on his personal jet to satisfy with LIV chairman Yasir Al-Rumayyan, keels over mid-flight.

Cue the theme music.